


Unforgettable

by msermesth



Series: Flash Fics for New Comics [12]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers Vol. 8 (2018), Brain delete, Civil War, Empyre, Happy Ending, M/M, With A Twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26443342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msermesth/pseuds/msermesth
Summary: Weddings aren't the best places to hash out long-held disagreements.But this is Steve and Tony. What else did you expect?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Flash Fics for New Comics [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1123932
Comments: 22
Kudos: 126





	Unforgettable

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on [this panel](https://msermesth.tumblr.com/post/629060959980371968/big-gay-apocalypse-trying-to-stop-the-young) from this week's Empyre: Avengers Aftermath. In the issue Teddy and Billy get married and Steve and Tony have a tiny moment talking about their experience with the Young Avengers. The interaction is essentially My Kinda Stuff, so I had to write about it.
> 
> This fic is part of a series where I write fanfic quickly after comics come out. It's not beta-ed for that reason. You are very welcome to point out errors, however.

“There you are!” Tony says. Steve turns from the window to see Tony walking his way. “I was looking for you.”

“Did you see this view?” Steve gestures to the wall of glass separating the party from an infinite number of stars. 

Tony steps beside him. The shoulder of his tux brushes the shoulder of Steve’s uniform. “Yeah, it’s...something special. It’s nice to be in space to celebrate something, you know? I feel like we never get to appreciate views like this.”

Steve understands. After so much war he appreciates the peace. “It was a beautiful ceremony,” he tells Tony, hoping to fall into easy small talk and distract himself from what’s on his mind. 

“Yeah, it was,” Tony responds. 

Steve sneaks a look out of the corner of his eye to see Tony smiling to himself. He’s gorgeous tonight with his bow tie hanging untied around his neck. Steve snaps his eyes back to the stars before his gaze gets stuck on the small amount of skin peaking out from the top of Tony’s shirt. He had seen enough earlier this evening and he didn’t want the sense of regret that always accompanied staring too long at Tony.

Tony laughs. Steve’s sure that Tony has no idea what he’s thinking about. “Though I have to say--I feel really old right now. Kinda feels like my kids are all grown up,” Tony says. Steve knows he’s not imagining the emotion in his voice.

“Seems like we met them only yesterday. I was so surprised, _good-_ surprised, how comfortable those two were together.” He was jealous, but he doesn’t say that. It was a weird emotion then, and it’s weird now. 

“Not a lot of superheroes were out, back then,” Tony says. Steve hears what he doesn’t say, what he probably isn’t even thinking: there are a lot of superheroes who aren't out, _now_. 

Steve murmurs his agreement but doesn’t commit to continuing the conversation. He’s not sure if Tony considers himself one of those closeted superheros and he’s not going to ask. He doesn’t expect Tony to ever ask him, either. He doesn’t think Tony has much interest in this part of Steve.

They stand there in silence while the party continues on behind them. There’s music and dancing and all forms of interstellar alcohol flowing. It’s by every metric a celebration. 

After awhile Tony breaks the peace between them and asks, “Is everything ok?” 

“Yeah.” Steve nods and tries to smile. 

Tony plows on. “Because you seemed to be really enjoying yourself and then you got quiet and disappeared. Is this about the thing earlier?”

Steve decides to play stupid. He’s been telling himself for the last hour he isn’t thinking about it. So, it’s almost real when he asks, “what thing from earlier?”

Tony’s no longer looking out the glass at the stars. Steve knows he’s being watched, is being studied. “The joke I made about the SHRA.” He pauses to chew on his lower lip for a second. “You do know it was a joke, right?”

“Of course,” Steve replies and he means it. It can only be a joke to Tony; it’s just something he’s read about. It’s not something he’s lived. 

“Ok…” Tony clearly doesn’t believe him. He crosses his arms across his chest and Steve can see in the glass how it stretches the fabric of his shoulders. Steve waits patiently for Tony to decide this subject isn’t worth pursuing and he’d rather be enjoying himself with the rest of the party. 

Tony continues to stand there.

“Do we need to talk?” he asks. He’s staring right at Steve’s reflection. There’s a certain aggression in his voice--the kind that tends to raise Steve’s hackles. Tony expects a fight instead of a conversation.

Steve shakes his head. “This isn’t the time, or the place.”

Tony takes a deep breath and stuffs his hands deep into his pockets. “When will be the right time? It’s been _years_. You know, I actually thought we were over this. But clearly that’s not true.” Tony’s eyes move from their reflections in the glass to the ceiling. “I want it to be, though. I don’t like that the SHRA hangs between us. And maybe you don’t ever want to let it go, I guess that’s not my call to make. But also maybe, someday...we can talk about it.”

It’s not that Steve doesn’t understand what Tony’s asking for. He does. He wants it, too. “You’re right,” he says, thinking about all the ways he isn’t. Not with this. “We should talk about it. Later. I think I’m going to call it a night.” He steps away and doesn’t look back at the party still happening behind him. It’s a little early to leave, but he doesn’t fit among the young people dancing in the center of the room.

“Steve--” Tony calls as he walks away. 

Steve’s out the door before Tony can call after him again. The hallway has no windows and barely any light; it’s an improvement on the scenery for the moment. He lets out all the air he’s been storing up in his lungs and stops for a while so he can breath naturally again. The corridor is long but he follows it even after he’s past his room. On the other end of the ship is a small sitting room with a few chairs and more windows with views upon the stars. 

Luckily, he’s alone for now. He can think a little more clearly without Tony right next to him. He wants to believe he’s a forgiving man. He honestly believes he’s forgiven Tony and he knows intrinsically Tony’s forgiven him. But there’s something underneath all of that, something that defies forgiveness. Something that--

“Hey,” Tony says behind him. “I thought you went back to your room.”

“Did something happen?” Steve asks. He wouldn’t be surprised, it’s a superhero party after all.

“No, no, no.” Tony flops into a chair next to Steve. “I think Thor fell off a table as I was leaving, but everything sounded fine.”

“Good,” Steve replies and keeps his eyes off Tony’s rumpled tux. They share the quiet room. It’s not comfortable for Steve, he’s itching to say something or to leave, but he keeps waiting for Tony to start the battle. Except Tony doesn’t, so Steve digs in. “Do you really not remember any of it?”

“Are you talking about the SHRA?” 

Steve nods.

“No, I don’t. Everything between Extremis and Osborn is gone.” Tony regards him. Steve sees it from the corner of his eye. “You know that.”

“Yeah, I do.” He wishes it was otherwise. “I think about it. Sometimes not much, but sometimes...a lot. Especially since Hydra. I was so angry while we were fighting. I kept telling myself I didn’t hate you, but I felt it--the anger, the hate--when we fought. I didn’t like it. I _don't_ like it.”

Tony’s gaze on his skin is a heavy thing and Steve has to really try to keep his eyes forward. “I’ve seen all these newspaper clippings and videos from back then. And all I can do is place my thoughts on top of the things I know I did but can’t remember. There’s so much dissonance there, so many things I keep thinking ‘why the hell did you do that?’. But I have to trust I was doing what I thought was best.” Tony’s eyes fall to his lap with a sigh. “Even if I wish what I did was different.”

“We all wish we did things differently. Everything...it just escalated, and it was going to continue to escalate until something happened--”

“--Until you _died_ , you mean,” Tony cuts into say. He’s agitated again, Steve can hear how much he hates the idea of Steve’s death.

“No,” he replies. Tony’s wrong. “That’s the part that’s in the newspapers. _You_ think it ended when Crossbones shot me, and the fact that I’m alive means it’s over and done and it’s time to move on. In your mind the worst possible thing was fixed. The rest of it is just context.” Steve finally looks at Tony. He feels like he’s begging for something he can’t articulate. “My ‘death’ wasn’t your fault--and even if it had been--it wouldn’t have been the worst thing about Registration.”

Tony turns to look at him. “So, what’s the worst thing about Registration?”

Steve opens his mouth a couple times, but closes it soon after. He has a lot of responses to that question. Some are half-truths. Some are down-right lies. All he thinks will distract from what was real; all would save Tony from being burdened the way Steve has been since that time.

“And don’t tell me what you think I’m already supposed to know,” Tony says before Steve decides on his next move.

There’s a reason Steve doesn’t want to have this conversation right here, right now, while he’s supposed to be celebrating someone else's wedding. But there’s also a reason he can’t stop his thoughts from selfishly returning to that point. “The worst part was that I had finally told you how I felt about you, how I had loved you, and you had said you loved me, too. We were so close to telling other people--we were talking about marriage, for god's sakes--and then we were fighting and none of that mattered. Loving you didn’t stop me from hating you. And when it was all over and I was alive again, you remembered none of it. Even the good times didn’t matter, in the end.”

It’s Tony’s turn to be without words. Steve’s not sure Tony will believe him. He had some letters for a while, but nothing survived when his apartment was destroyed. And Tony? He clearly had kept nothing to remind himself of those days if he had never put the pieces together after he deleted his memories.

“I’m saying this because you asked for honesty. I resent that you were able to forget how much it hurt. Now--don’t get me wrong--I’m glad I can remember it even if you can’t. I’ll always choose to have my memories. No matter what.” Steve pauses and looks out the window again. He wants to leave that rock unturned at the moment. “I guess it’s just hard to move on from something when we can’t agree what we’re moving on from.” 

There. He said it. Maybe now they can put it behind themselves.

“I had no idea,” are the words that finally come out of Tony’s mouth. “I wish…I wish you had said something. Why didn’t you tell me?” Tony’s voice grows more and more panicked as he speaks. “Steve, wow, I don’t even know where to begin. We were going to get married?”

“We were talking about it.”

“I--Tony Stark--was dating _you_ \--Steve Rogers--I can’t...I don’t even know what to say. And I can’t even remember.” Tony shakes his head. “Steve, look at me,” he pleads. Steve listens. The light of the stars outside are reflected in Tony’s glassy eyes. “You _loved_ me? You loved _me_?”

“Yes, I did,” Steve says. The words don’t feel right, so he amends them. “I still do.” There it is--the sheer weight of Steve’s uncontrollable feelings will smoother their friendship. Nothing will be the same. 

“And--”

Steve cuts Tony off. “It doesn’t have to mean anything Tony. I understand if it makes you uncomfortable. And I understand if you don’t want to see me.” He stands up to leave. It’s only fair that Tony has some time to process this.

“Wait, wait!” Tony calls before Steve has made even two steps in the other direction. It takes him only a few seconds to stand up and arrive before Steve. “What if I want it to mean something? I’ve been in love with you forever, before and since, and always, and I’m supposed to just forget it? I’m supposed to just _move on_? And I can’t even remember it.” He says the last sentence to himself.

“You didn’t want to remember it.”

“Now I do!” Tony says, practically screeches. “I would really like to have those memories.” He’s frantically searching for something in Steve’s eyes. “Or new memories, at least.”

Steve’s not sure he trusts what’s being offered. They had their chance back and it didn’t work out. “I don’t know,” he responds. If Tony really wanted this, he could have asked before.

“That’s fair…”

“But--” When he finally got the nerve to tell Tony all those years ago, it had been like this. He had been unsure. He had thought Tony would say no, or if Tony said yes, it would not have worked out and that would be the worst thing. 

And that’s what happened.

“But, I’d like to try,” he tells Tony. “If you’d be willing to try, I’d like that.”

Tony’s hands reach for Steve’s face. “Please,” he says.

Tony kisses him like he’s expecting Steve to say no. Right away it’s weird; Steve remembers all of their past kisses. It’s hard to let the past go.

Tony goes all in, pulls him closer. Steve’s hands wrap around Tony’s back and cling to the fabric of his tux. The connection to Tony’s body is what does it, he’s no longer thinking about how it was back then, he’s thinking about what it’s like right now. He’s thinking about how Tony tastes and how he smells and how his mustache feels different than the goatee.

Somewhere on the edge of his awareness Steve can hear two women giggling. They stop and one shushes the other. It’s Kate's voice that whispers, “America, do you see? Oh futz, we got to tell Cassie.” And then they’re gone.

Tony stops the kiss to say, “Now everyone’s going to know when we get back to the party.”

Steve shrugs and leans in for another kiss. “It’s fine with me if it’s fine with you.”

“l won’t forget it this time, at least,” Tony says, smiling against his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> True story: I've been imagining a confrontation between Steve and Tony at this wedding since the premise of Empyre was announced. Mine was a little different than what we got, but thanks be to Ewing for providing good fucking drama and characterization.
> 
> [Tumblr Post](https://msermesth.tumblr.com/post/629154679499227136/unforgettable)


End file.
